I’m So Overwhelmed and I Don’t Know Where to Start!

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A gentle, honest letter from a therapist who gets it…

If you find yourself lying awake at night, replaying conversations or worrying about the next day—you’re not alone. Google searches for anxiety and depression peak between 11 PM and 2 AM, especially on Sunday nights. It’s often the only time we’re quiet enough to hear just how overwhelmed we are. And in that moment, many of us turn to our phones—not for distraction, but for answers. We scroll through advice from strangers, therapists, or anyone who seems to understand what we’re feeling. We're not just looking for tips; we're reaching for relief, connection, and some kind of hope that maybe—we're not alone in this.

Right this moment, you may have unread texts, or texts you’ve read but have yet to respond to, emails sitting in your inbox, unanswered calls, dishes in the sink, 5,000 loads of never ending laundry, grocery shopping, and the list goes on... Your to-do list feels more suffocating than helpful. You’re trying to be everything to everyone, but lately you’re snapping more, sleeping less, and wondering, “Why am I always this tired… even when I technically got sleep?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And no—you’re not lazy. You’re not weak. You’re not failing. You’re probably just overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, and carrying way too much.

As a therapist, I hear this kind of thing all the time:

  • “I don’t even know what I need anymore.”

  • “Everyone relies on me, but no one really sees me.”

  • “I’m burned out, but I don’t have the option to slow down.”

  • “I don’t have the support I need.”

This post isn’t about productivity hacks or positive vibes. It’s a soft place to land if your soul is tired and your brain won’t stop spinning.

The World Is Loud, and You're Trying to Keep Up!

We’re living in a time where everything is “go-go-go.” Work doesn’t really end at 5pm. Parenting is a 24/7 job. Notifications never stop. And then there’s social media—where it looks like everyone else is crushing it while you’re barely surviving. SAME!

You might be working remotely and feel like you're “on” all the time. Maybe you're a parent trying to hold it together for your kids, while secretly wondering who’s holding you. Or maybe you’re a business owner, a caregiver, a partner, or all of the above—and there’s simply no time to rest.

This Is More Than Just Stress.

Let’s name what it really is:
This is anxiety.
This is burnout.
This is emotional overload.

You might be experiencing:

  • A racing mind that won’t shut off

  • Surviving vs living each day fully

  • Snapping at loved ones even though you don’t mean to

  • Crying out of nowhere—or feeling numb

  • Trouble sleeping even though you’re exhausted

  • Guilt for resting (or even thinking about resting)

  • Digestive Issues

  • High cortisol

It may feel like your mind has 17 browsers open and its on the verge of crashing. Your body is tired, but your thoughts are loud. You’re doing your best… but it doesn’t feel like enough.

Added Stress in Relationships:

Let’s talk about what happens when you're overwhelmed and in a relationship.

Maybe you're married or partnered, but still feel like you're carrying most of the mental and emotional load alone. You're managing the schedules, remembering the appointments, handling the kid stuff, cleaning, organizing, making sure everything runs—even when you're running on fumes.

Your partner might not be unkind. They might even say, "Just tell me what you need."
But that’s the problem—you don’t always know what you need. And the idea of explaining it feels like one more thing on your to-do list.

Or maybe they don’t notice at all. Maybe you’re emotionally drowning while they’re watching TV, going to the gym, or simply living as if everything’s fine.

And that quiet resentment you feel? It’s not you being dramatic. It’s a sign that your needs are going unmet—maybe by others, maybe by yourself.

Some signs anxiety is impacting your relationship:

  • You feel like you have to manage everything, or it won’t get done “right”

  • You snap or withdraw, then feel guilty later

  • You can’t relax even when your partner says, “Just rest”

  • You feel pressure to stay emotionally “put together” so you don’t overwhelm them

  • You crave more emotional support, but aren’t sure how to ask for it

This kind of dynamic can lead to emotional disconnection—not because you don’t love each other, but because no one can stay connected when they’re emotionally maxed out.

And if your partner is emotionally unavailable, critical, or dismissive of your stress? The anxiety you’re feeling may also be your body trying to flag something deeper: unmet emotional needs, unspoken pain, or unhealed patterns.

Boundaries Are Necessary!

One of the biggest reasons we end up overwhelmed is that we don’t feel safe setting boundaries.

  • You say yes when you mean no.

  • We hold or bottle up our feelings

  • You answer texts at 10pm because you don’t want to seem rude.

  • You take on extra tasks because “no one else will.”

But boundaries aren’t about pushing people away. They’re about protecting your peace. They’re about honoring your limits before resentment, anxiety, or burnout takes over.

It’s okay to say:

  • “I don’t have the flexibility right now.”

  • “I need some time to think before committing.”

  • “No, thank you.”

And if that feels scary? That’s okay. Boundaries are a practice—not a personality trait.

What If You Don’t Even Know Where to Start?

That’s actually a great place to start.

When your brain is foggy and your emotions are tangled, the last thing you need is a 10-step plan. Sometimes, you just need someone to sit beside you and say, “Hey, you don’t have to do this alone. Let’s sort through this together.”

Here’s what I tell my clients who are overwhelmed and unsure where to begin:

🌱 Step 1: Pause.

Breathe. Put your hand over your chest. Let yourself arrive here, in this moment. No one needs anything from you right now. Just breathe.

🌱 Step 2: Name One Thing That’s Too Heavy.

Don’t try to fix your whole life. Just name one thing that feels especially loud. Is it parenting? Work pressure? Guilt? Loneliness?

Naming it is powerful. It turns chaos into something you can work with.

🌱 Step 3: Ask: Who Can Help Me Hold This?

Not fix it. Just hold it. That might be a friend. It might be a journal. It might be a therapist. You were never meant to carry everything alone.

What Therapy Can Offer (Even If You Don’t Know What to Say):

You don’t need to have the “right words.” You don’t need a diagnosis. You don’t need a life plan.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just off—therapy can be the space where you exhale and untangle what’s going on underneath.

Therapy is:

  • A place to say the things you’ve been afraid to admit

  • A space to explore boundaries, people-pleasing, or burnout without shame

  • A weekly pause to come back to yourself

  • A safe place to unpack what’s happening in your relationship—without being judged

You’re Not Too Far Gone. You’re Just Tired!

If you’ve made it this far into the blog, I want you to hear this: You are not too much. You’re not crazy. You’re not losing it. You’re not too emotional. You’re not too behind. You’re just human—and you’re carrying a lot, and so you deserve a safe space to lay some of it down.

Ready to Begin?

We offer remote therapy for anyone who feels like they’ve been holding it all together for too long. You don’t need to be in crisis. You just need to be ready to stop doing it alone.

If you’ve been waiting for a sign… this is it.