Why Am I So Anxious?
/And What Your Body Might Be Trying to Tell You
Have you ever found yourself asking, “Why am I so anxious?”
Maybe it hits you in the middle of the night when your mind won’t stop racing.
Or during the day, when you feel like you’re juggling a million things but still feel like you’re falling behind.
Maybe you actually feel “okay” about how things have been, but that is, until you see someone else “doing it better” on social media.
Maybe you experience tension in your neck, chest or lower back but can’t quite explain why.
You’re not alone.
Anxiety has become one of the most common emotional experiences of our time. Many of the clients I sit with don’t always use the word “anxiety” right away. Instead, they say things like:
“I’m just so overwhelmed.”
“I can’t shut my brain off.”
“I feel like I have to be ‘on’ all the time.”
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
Some clients don’t realize how much they actually have on their plate, until they’ve been asked to name them all, one by one. Sometimes you just have to name or list your issues in order to see the reality of your situation. The clarity into your emotions is invaluable. You don’t feel anxious for no reason at all. In my experience, there is always a conscious or subconscious reason, and so no, you’re not crazy!
Our Nervous Systems Weren’t Built for This
Anxiety, at its core, is your body’s way of trying to protect you. It’s the fight-or-flight system, kicking in when your brain senses a threat. That system worked well when threats were lions or sudden danger.
But now, those “threats” look more like:
A constantly buzzing phone - texts, calls, notifications, etc..
Unread work emails at 9pm, or checking emails consistently waiting for work
Skyrocketing bills and financial strain
Kids who need something every five minutes
The pressure to balance work, home, health, social responsibilities, personal lives —all while smiling and hoping you haven’t forgotten anything from your never ending list of to do’s
Your body doesn’t always know the difference between a lion and a late electric bill. Or between a life-or-death emergency and the chronic stress of parenting, caretaking, and keeping everything running.
So your nervous system stays activated, tense, and alert.
And that my friend, is anxiety, and it stinks.
Anxiety Isn’t Just In Your Head—It’s In Your Body
It’s important to understand that anxiety is not weakness. It’s not a character flaw. It’s your nervous system doing its job in an overwhelming world.
Anxiety can look like:
Racing thoughts
Restlessness or insomnia
Tightness in your chest or shallow breathing
Digestive issues
Trouble focusing or making decisions
Always feeling “on edge,” even when things are going okay
Sometimes anxiety is loud. Other times it’s a quiet hum in the background, making life feel just a bit harder than it needs to be.
Today’s World Is Fast
Let’s talk about the world we live in.
1. The Economy and Financial Pressure
We’re living through inflation, housing costs that feel out of reach, childcare expenses, and healthcare costs that can quickly spiral. Many people are working harder than ever just to stay afloat.
This chronic pressure tells your body that you're not safe—even if you're technically okay. There's a difference between logical safety and felt safety. You might be doing everything “right” and still feel like the rug could be pulled from under you at any moment. That constant low-grade panic is anxiety in disguise.
2. The Mental Load of Parenthood
If you’re a parent, your responsibilities go far beyond physical tasks. You’re the planner, the manager, the comforter, the one anticipating everyone’s needs. You might be up all night with a sick child, while still needing to work the next morning.
Moms, especially, carry an invisible load that rarely gets acknowledged. It’s no wonder that you feel like you’re barely holding it together.
3. The Pressure to Be “On” All the Time
Whether you’re running a business, working full-time, or staying home with your children, the cultural pressure to “perform” is real. You may feel like you have to prove your worth by being productive, efficient, or visible—especially online.
Social media only adds fuel to the fire. You're not just comparing yourself to your friends—you’re comparing yourself to thousands of strangers who seem to be doing life better, cleaner, happier, and more organized than you. And once you are sucked into that rabbit hole, it’s harder and harder to climb out.
4. People-Pleasing and the Fear of Disappointing Others
Here’s where it gets even heavier. Many of us have developed a deep, almost automatic urge to people-please. Saying “yes” feels safer than saying “no.” Being liked feels necessary for survival. It’s incorrectly used as a way to measure our worth, and many of us have learned to assess ourselves through the perceived lens of others. Many of us are walking around being versions of what others expect us to be as opposed to our true selves — this is ultimately due to a fear of rejection which we then internalize as failure. If this sounds like you, you have been conditioned to believe that if you please others, you will in turn, either receive acceptance or escape perceived conflict. What you actually get over time is burnout, resentment, and of course, on going anxiety.
Maybe you were taught that your worth came from being helpful, quiet, obedient, accommodating. Maybe it felt dangerous to upset others or take up space with your needs.
So now, even as an adult, your body panics at the thought of:
Saying no to a request
Disappointing a client, friend, colleague, neighbor, etc
Letting a family member down
Setting a boundary that might cause conflict
And all of that inner tension? It keeps the anxiety cycle alive, and oftentimes, it can make anxiety worse.
But Why You?
If you’ve been wondering why you, in particular, feel this way—especially when others around you seem to be managing—it’s time to offer yourself some compassion.
You might be feeling anxious because:
You’ve never been given permission to rest
You grew up in a home where being “useful” was how you received love
You learned that disappointing others is dangerous or shameful
You’re in a season of life where there’s just too much on your plate
You’re doing the emotional labor for your household, your kids, your clients, your team
And even if your life looks good “on paper,” your nervous system doesn’t measure success in bullet points. It measures safety. Space. Slowness. Stillness.
Boundaries Aren’t Selfish—They’re Self-Help
Anxiety is often a result of living without boundaries. When your time, energy, emotions, and presence are constantly available to others—there’s nothing left for you.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you care deeply—but you also recognize your human limits.
You can love people and say no.
You can be a great parent and need alone time.
You can be committed to your work and log off when the day is done.
Boundaries create space for you to show up as your best self—not your burned-out self.
What If Anxiety Isn’t Something to Fix?
Here’s a gentle reframe:
What if your anxiety isn’t something to fix… but something to listen to?
What if it’s not a sign you’re failing—but a sign that something inside you is crying out for rest, for permission, for softness?
Your anxiety might be saying:
“I’m overwhelmed, and I need help.”
“I’m scared to let people down.”
“I’m tired of feeling like I’m never enough.”
“I miss who I used to be before I was stretched so thin.”
Instead of responding with judgment or pressure, what if you responded with grace? My favorite term, often the solution to so many of our relational problems. You can substitute “grace”, with “self-compassion” if it suits you.
What Would It Look Like to Reassess?
Maybe this is your invitation to step back and reevaluate the weight you’re carrying. To ask:
What can I let go of?
What expectations are not mine to carry?
Who am I trying to please—and at what cost?
What do I need to feel like myself again?
Who can I reach out for support/help?
This doesn’t mean dropping every responsibility or escaping your life. It means creating more space within it. More breathing room. More compassion.
You’re Allowed to Be Human
You are allowed to pause.
You are allowed to ask for help.
You are allowed to not have it all together.
You are allowed to create a life that makes you feel safe and whole—not just productive.
If no one’s told you this recently: You are not behind. You’re not doing life wrong. You’re simply doing your best in a very overwhelming world.
And that is enough.